When boredom strucks...

boredom do struck me all the times...
nvr a day im boredom-less... especiallie wifout those special creatures called friends around me...
i juz cnt live alone... i'll be dead if im being isolated...

haiz.. i tried to write about things other than that RUTHLESS him...
but i cant... i juz got lot n lots of tings to tok about...
maybe this is the essential way to ease my mind..
after thinking so much about him the whole dae...
at the end of the dae.. i juz pour every single tots of him here... n guys.. i gev u a little warning oredi uh... this blog is full of my tots n how i feel..
n if u tink im bored or sumting... ure alwaes welcome to click on BACK...

let me tell u sumting.. an infomation dat realie added salt to my open wound...
mind u its still bleeding...
a fren of mine... saw him in the bus...
wif a gurl...
a gurl so dear to him.. so special to him...
he's carrying her bag.. like he used to carry mine...
how i wish i was her... i would hold him tite n never eva let him go...
if im heving cruel intentions... i would hev pray to god that his relationship wif her would end soon...
but dats bad uh... real bad...
im not bad...

im hepi to see my loved one hepi...
dats the quote people tend to sae wen dat sumone special left them to woo sumone else..
but i tink its total bullshit!!!
how cn u be hepi wen dat sumone u realie2 love is so hepi in a relationship wif sumone else but not u..
the least is u feel envy.. NEVER HEPI...

The worst thing in life is.....

Seeing the one you love with the one they love...

dat is juz to comfort themself... yeap.. psychologicallie....
sumtimes it does werks... wen in ur mind... all u tink is positive...
it will turned out to be positive...
but for me.. its a total no...
the more i tink dat im going to be hepi wifout him
the more im depressed...
every single lonely day...
i wish... i hope he will cum bek to me.. n everyything would be the same again...
again n again... im dreaming.. dats a total miracle if he kol me... wats more to cum bek into my life... enuf of him todae..

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.

juz now.. got my social psychology n family...
i didnt get to study dat much.. n it turns out to be so hard...
damn tricky.. but nvm.. i hope i cn pass..


You came into my Life like an arrow straight into my heart I dun know if dis is really true You filled my emptiness Giving me happiness wifout you I would b blue Now that we're apart You're still in my heart Im just sitting here Fighting back a tear So sad n alone But im trying to have a heart of stone Not to think of you And forget that I like you so Bit it won't Because I cant I really need you here Dun you even care? You're my Knight in shining armor But dat was just before Coz we have to separate ways To fulfill each other's dreams But ur memories will always stay In my heart and in my mind 4eva,until the end of time...


p.s. i mish him... lots

LOVE HURTS...

HEARTBREAKS.. HURT.. DISSAPOINTMENT.. TEARS...
people prays every single day... so dat these things wun happen to dem...
once dese disastrous event happen... they'll be shattered into million n million of pieces...
which it could take months or even years or even NEVER get it back into one piece...
whats more...
women's heart is the most fragile among all.. it breaks so easily... even a single wrong move sumone did.. cn even hurt surprisingly alot...

and these happen to me... yesh.. this is the continuation from the previous blog...
once i get to noe dat.. the "LOVE OF MY LIVE" has dat sumbody else in his life... it totally bring me down.. dysfunctional thoughts and irrational self statements of myself alwaes kips me company all the time.. bad company... "m i dat ugly?? m i dat fat?? wat wrong do i do??m i a bad kisser dat i nvr make ur world go round?? i became schizophrenic.. hearing voices.. my own voice asking me dese sensitive questions which led to my already realie low self esteem worsen... til tis particular dae... dose voices i had in mind.. never eva stopped asking...maybe this is wat i call RETRIBUTION.. or simply KARMA...

used to leave sumone hu loves me so much... hurt sumone so much... n now its my turn.. i deserve these uh?? but hey... ive realised my mistake.. WILL god eva forgive me for breaking sumone's heart so badly??? deep down in my fist sized heart... i still hev dat small little feeling dat he would eventualie cum bek to me.. maybe not now.. maybe not so soon... but he will... i noe.. its plain stoopid to be waiting fer sumone hu had hurt u so much... the one hu brought me so high in the sky... but juz let me go wen i tot im gona reached the top... painful isn't it???
yeap.. it hurt... horrendously much.. i needed him so much in my life..

he used to makes me smile.. even wifout trying hard...
he used to be my BESTFREN.. my brother.. my father.. my everything..
he gev me wat ive deprived all this while...
LOVE.. yesh love... even though he nvr told me he loves me...
i juz got dat feeling he does.. weneva im wif him... i felt as though its my home...
its so safe.. n i felt nvr dat comfortable before...

god noes how much i mish him...
god noes how much i love him...
i noe this sound so so crazy..
he got sumone in his life rite now.. but i juz cnt get over him...
soon i hope..
this is werds.. inspirational werds i quoted by my adorable syahida...
"nurul dear, u won't forget him soon...
i'm afraid it will take years..
memories will keep cumin back n u will start to love n miss him all over again..
i noe u've tried very hard til u get tired of trying n u wish u wudnt hv met him before...
dun gif up on urself k...
dun let this feelins take over ur life...
i dunnoe exactly how u feel, but i undastan u..
i know it hurts damn bad n sumtimes u wish miracles wld occur..
at least ure brave enuf to go thru all tis n tis im sure u wun regret later in ur life...
to lose sumone is heartbreaking.. but its better now than later..."

i cried.. so much.. reading this sweet inspirational sms from her...
it realie calms me down..
at least she undastan me..
thnkiu....

People suffering from heartbreak find their body and mind reacting strangely even in normal situations. They experience mood swings. They avoid places and people that bring up nostalgic memories. And heartbreak songs make them weep uncontrollably.
dats wat ive been thru for the past months...
but god.. he gev me little strenght to carry on each n everyday..
thankiu...

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion

wads luv?

elo.. im new here.. i guezz im jeles cuz everyone seems to hev blog.. n i dun hev any.. exception from my multiply which i seldom log on to... i got bored easily...

starting a new blog meaning im gona let out everything thats been playin ard in my MIND... things dat had been ruining my ALREADY HOPELESSLY LONELY LIFE... So bare wif me uh... im gona start whinning now!!

so.. lets get started.. cn anyone realie tell me.. wads the defination of LOVE?? yeap.. deres many2 answer to dat SIMPLE question.. diff pple.. diff perceptions... now let me tell u wads love meant to me...

LOVE.. is sumting MIRACULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL... its wen two diff pple... from two realie diff world... met n their hearts simply becums one... its wen both party had butterfly feelings in the stomach weneva each time they meet... its wen the world juz go round n round wen they're passionately kissing... wen they tink that only both of them exist in this world... ooo.. snap me out from this illusions... love is not all great... nothing is perfect.. n i realie meant nothin!!! anyone disagree???!!!

ive been in love.. n hurt.. everyone goes thru the same... its a cycle of life... correct me if im wrong... its whether that person is strong enuf to go thru painful miseries after dat special sumone hurt dat most fragile thing dat human beings possesed.. the HEART...


now let me tell u sad sad story of mine which i guezz everybody noes.. bare again wif me.. ive been in love lots n lots of time.. i dun tink its pure love.. its juz monkey love... wen dat particular moment u juz nid sumone to tok to.. n deres dat sumone.. n dat sumone was willing to listen to ur thrilling sad stories... u tot u're in love... but eventualie ure not... i dun tink dats love rite??!!
nope2...


but for the first time in my life.. n i realie meant the FIRST... i realie fell in love wif diz suweet looking guy hu came by my LONELY DARK life... i realie tot hes my prince charming in dat metal thing... ARMOUR.. on a horse... trying to save this DEVASTATED LOOKING lady and bring her to a NERENDING HAPPY life.... everything felt so right... i got butterflies in my bloated tummy.. my world was spinning real fast wen i kish him passionately... n problems seems to be miles miles away... i tot my dreams had cum thru.. i tot this gorgeously dream cum thru thingy will last...

but not all things last foreva... "yang indah itu hanyalah sementara" i wasnt in love... it was infatuation... the dreams that i tot came thru... are juz meant to be dreamz... i was the only one hu loves him.. n im the only hu got the spinning world thing wen i kish him.... now that i got dat PAINFUL REALITY SLAP on my face... im still in DENIAL.. cuz these perfect feelings i had wen im wif him end up juz so soon...

day by day... tears juz kept on draining... im realie realie weak... i noe.. everyone's weak wen it cums to love... its faith n strength of dat individual dat helps to make dem to carry on... im lack of dose two... cuz ive been putting too much hope on this ruthless guy whom i tot gonna make my life fill wif butterflies n flowers...

so here i m.. still in a state of denial.. still wanting n waiting for little miracles to happen which dey wun in this HORRENDOUS situation of mine... MOST OF THE TIME.. YOU'LL GET THE LEAST EXPECTED WEN URE EXPECTING THE MOST....