LOVE HURTS...

HEARTBREAKS.. HURT.. DISSAPOINTMENT.. TEARS...
people prays every single day... so dat these things wun happen to dem...
once dese disastrous event happen... they'll be shattered into million n million of pieces...
which it could take months or even years or even NEVER get it back into one piece...
whats more...
women's heart is the most fragile among all.. it breaks so easily... even a single wrong move sumone did.. cn even hurt surprisingly alot...

and these happen to me... yesh.. this is the continuation from the previous blog...
once i get to noe dat.. the "LOVE OF MY LIVE" has dat sumbody else in his life... it totally bring me down.. dysfunctional thoughts and irrational self statements of myself alwaes kips me company all the time.. bad company... "m i dat ugly?? m i dat fat?? wat wrong do i do??m i a bad kisser dat i nvr make ur world go round?? i became schizophrenic.. hearing voices.. my own voice asking me dese sensitive questions which led to my already realie low self esteem worsen... til tis particular dae... dose voices i had in mind.. never eva stopped asking...maybe this is wat i call RETRIBUTION.. or simply KARMA...

used to leave sumone hu loves me so much... hurt sumone so much... n now its my turn.. i deserve these uh?? but hey... ive realised my mistake.. WILL god eva forgive me for breaking sumone's heart so badly??? deep down in my fist sized heart... i still hev dat small little feeling dat he would eventualie cum bek to me.. maybe not now.. maybe not so soon... but he will... i noe.. its plain stoopid to be waiting fer sumone hu had hurt u so much... the one hu brought me so high in the sky... but juz let me go wen i tot im gona reached the top... painful isn't it???
yeap.. it hurt... horrendously much.. i needed him so much in my life..

he used to makes me smile.. even wifout trying hard...
he used to be my BESTFREN.. my brother.. my father.. my everything..
he gev me wat ive deprived all this while...
LOVE.. yesh love... even though he nvr told me he loves me...
i juz got dat feeling he does.. weneva im wif him... i felt as though its my home...
its so safe.. n i felt nvr dat comfortable before...

god noes how much i mish him...
god noes how much i love him...
i noe this sound so so crazy..
he got sumone in his life rite now.. but i juz cnt get over him...
soon i hope..
this is werds.. inspirational werds i quoted by my adorable syahida...
"nurul dear, u won't forget him soon...
i'm afraid it will take years..
memories will keep cumin back n u will start to love n miss him all over again..
i noe u've tried very hard til u get tired of trying n u wish u wudnt hv met him before...
dun gif up on urself k...
dun let this feelins take over ur life...
i dunnoe exactly how u feel, but i undastan u..
i know it hurts damn bad n sumtimes u wish miracles wld occur..
at least ure brave enuf to go thru all tis n tis im sure u wun regret later in ur life...
to lose sumone is heartbreaking.. but its better now than later..."

i cried.. so much.. reading this sweet inspirational sms from her...
it realie calms me down..
at least she undastan me..
thnkiu....

People suffering from heartbreak find their body and mind reacting strangely even in normal situations. They experience mood swings. They avoid places and people that bring up nostalgic memories. And heartbreak songs make them weep uncontrollably.
dats wat ive been thru for the past months...
but god.. he gev me little strenght to carry on each n everyday..
thankiu...

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion