it's not over..

daughtry- it's not over


I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything
That I can't do without.

I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

(Well I'll try to do it right this time around)
Let's start over,
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We've wasted too much time
Being strong and holding on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

Cause it's all misunderstood

(Well I'll try to do it right this time around)
Let's start over,
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out.

Let's start over
We'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

Lets start over
It's not over

Yeah yeah
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over

love

i juz love the wae..
u look me in the eyes...
hold me in ur arms...
n tell me u still love me....
but i hate it..
u act as though nth hapen the next very dae...
but still..
i love you...

selagi ada cinta

Telah ku lakukan semuanya kasih
Telah ku korbankan segalanya
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Ku tahu kau tak pernah setia,kasih)
Ku tahu diriku tak bererti
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Selagi ada cinta dihatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi air mata ini mengalir
Kau tetap di hati ini
Cintamu tetap di hati

Selagi ku mampu bertahan kekasih
Jangan sampai cinta tiada lagi
Jika memang cinta tiada lagi, kasih
Tinggalkan aku sendiri ..
Tinggalkan cintamu kasih ..

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi ku mampu bertahan kasih
Ku terima segalanya
Walau hatiku merana ..

selagi ada cinta....

STOP..

I HATE HIPOCRITES...
I HATE LIARS!!
haiz...
i guezz.. i'll stop blogging fer awhile..
cuz i wana stop crying oredi.... :,,(

soulmate

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

mistakes..

mistakes..
people juz never escape from making mistakes...
whether its a huge mistake..
or a simple mistake...

for example..
at werk..
administering wrong medication..
is consider a big big mistake..
n u cn b sue bcoz of dat...
n yet..
people still make dat same mistake over n over again...

same goes to love..
even how many times u get hurt..
many many times u made mistakes in realationship..
u still repeat dat mistakes again...

but den.. wen u realise...
dat ure makin dat mistake again..
its already wae too late..
nothing cn be done..
NOTHING!!
even how hard u tried to change urself..
even how hard u beg..
even how realie bad u cried..
its no use...

some pple may try to forgive n forget..
n gif their love anoder chance...
but others juz simply give up on u...
saying dat u would nvr change..
thinking dat all dose apologising werds r juz simply werds...

i dunnoe..
maybe tis is wat pple alwaes say..
"mistakes alwaes makes us a better person"
cuz thru mistakes..
we gain experience..
so dat we will nvr do it again..

life plz forgive me..
ive made lots n lots of mistakes..
n ive already suffered so much...
cn u at least make me hepi 4 now??
im tired of being sad alwaes...

Friendship...

like wat nasha says..
"when god takes away something from u...
he replaces it with someting better... :)










im a much more heppier lady now..
all thnx to dem...
n mimi ure included...
eventhough i alwaes hated to b single...
u guys made my life wonderful...

babies..

werk was ok now...
not much babies..
maybe mothers gets tired of delivering babies..
haha..

day by day..
more n more single mother delivered deir babies...
imagine..
dey're cn onli be 18 years old...
or maybe 16...
sometimes..
the mother is onli 23..
n she already hev 5 babies..
hw cn dey cope??
dey dun even hev enuf money to support demself..
i realie pity the babies..
n the "father " of the child..
juz dun want to b responsible..
i juz cnt imagine myself being in their shoes...
i realie wonder.. hw cn dey survive??... niwae dats evangeline... cute isnt she???

I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU.

You made me cry...
You tore me apart..
You left me in tears..
You've shattered my heart..


It wasn't your fault..
I guess it was me..
for love can't be forced..
Perhaps we weren't meant to be..


It still doesn't help..
now that i know..
Because for some reason..
my heart won't let go..


I've tried more than once..
to get over you..
but you make it so hard..
with cute things you do..


I thought love was joy..
but i've got nothing to gain..
just sorrows..tears..
and a little more pain..

The day the pain started ..
reality came too..
It was the day i realized ..



......I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU.......

juz fer u

fer my dearest.....(IF U HAPPEN TO READ MY BLOG)


rite now..
im still in denial..
i definitely noe dat
u've already moved on
way bek den..
but i nvr did...
NEVER.. NOT EVEN A LIL BIT...
u hev ur new happiness in ur life..
n im still here in darkness...

our pictures r still on my table...
n weneva i start to gaze on that pictures
dose swit precious memories we had togeder,
kip flashing bek at the bek of my mind..
it was so beautiful..
wifout me noeing..
tears juz kip on flowing down my cheeks..
n dats wen i realised...
u meant too much to me...
n dats wen i noe..
dat i love u way too much...

i mish u so much dear..
everything abt u..
the wae u wld kish me on my forehead weneva we're saying goodbye..
the wae u would kish my hand wen we're riding...
dose times wen u would kol me in the middle of dae.. juz to sae dat u love me..
n dose times u would make me laugh n smile juz by being urself...
haiz... i want dose times to cum bek to me..
n make me whole again..

the past few daes...
u msged me every single dae..
GOD noes how hepi i m...
i was alwaes waiting patiencely fer ur msg everydae...
even a short msg makes me smile dear..
n yest..
u came to my werkplace to bring me food..
i almost wanted to cry..
i was too contented..
i almost wanted to hug u so tite n nvr let u go..
but.. i had to refrain myself from doing dat...
cuz u're no longer mine...

im not gona beg u to cum bek..
neither im gonna pester u...
n im not asking fer any sympathy from anyone..
but i juz want u to noe..
how much u realie meant to me...
how badly i want u bek in my life...

although heving u bek in my life..
iz sumting i shldnt b thinking of rite now..
cuz its totalie "in my dreams" thingy...

BUT i hope..
one fine day...
u would realise it..
n trust me..
i had never stop praying fer u to cum bek... :,(

frens

people say...
laughter is the best medicine...
its true... :)







Sumtymes i want 2 shout to the whole world how lucky
i am to have you guys as my friend
but sumetymes i want 2 hush...
afraid dat somebody might take u away from me...


I LOVE U GUYS!!! :)

my day...

my bro went to hong kong todae...
so.. everyone in the family hev to drag ourselves..
to the airport in the morning to sent him off...
terminal 3 was huge la...
we got lost fer awhile.. :)
........
n i went out wif my fwen.............
..............
...................
he still in my mind....
every breath I take I'm calling your name... :,(

juz fer u dear...

i took ur luv 4 granted,
I thot it'd always b der.
I thot u truly loved me,
I thot u'd always care.

I guess I was wrong,
I shouldn't get too involved.
I just couldn't help it,
cuz around u my world revolved.

I'd give anything
to be in ur arms 4 one more night.
I miss all the hugs and kisses
and when u held me tight.

We would b forever,
that's the way it seemed.
u were my "true love"
but only in my dreams.

I wish I knew what I did wrong;
I wish I could change the past.
I wish we were still "together"
so I could say ur love would last.

You continued on with your life
and I continued with mine.
But to repair a heart dis badly broken
will take a lot of time.

When I think of u
I cry for what seems like forever.
I just wish I cld say
that we are "together."

I just want u to know
that I'll always luv u.
I just wish u'd look me in the eye
and say u love me, too.

starts with goodbye

starts with goodbye- Carrie Underwood
this is definitely a realie nice song...
listen to the song while understanding the the lyrics...
meaningful song...


I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[CHORUS:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you're trying to fly, It's sad but sometimes Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
But getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

[CHORUS:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry, and let go of some things I've loved ,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down, Like falling when you're tryin to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

[CHORUS:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you're trying to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye
Like falling when you're trying to fly
It's sad but sometimes Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye

routine..

i noe...
ive been whining n whining bout my life...
its not dat i realie hate my life..
in fact.. i used to love my life so much..
but things happen..
that realie chged everything..
makes my world upside down...
ryte now.. im too lost to tink on how to turn it bek again..

my life hev been a routine..
werk n home..
if im not at home... im at werk..
n vice versa..
i dun go out like i used to...
i realie dunnoe wats happening to my life...
wen im all alone at home...
wif nth to do...
lots lots of question bombard my mind...
questions dat makes me realie realie cry..
yesh... tears had alwaes been my loyal companion...

i alwaes wanted to get thru tis..
trying real hard to be strong...
but i dunnoe y..
i kip feeling weak day by day...
the more i wanted to move on..
the more i kip thinking bek...
its not dat i didnt try at all..
i did went on dates wif sum guys..
but the feeling is so different..
even how swit dey r...
how nice dey treated me...
the feeling is so so different...
every nite...
i consistenly told myself...
forget bout everything..
every single thing...
its time to start eveything anew...
BUT ITS SO HARD!!!

one ting i tried to do to forget all dese...
i werk..
but at werk ders a diff issues..
makes me so stressed most of the time...
werk had been realie hectic nowadaes...
the no. of babies juz increased day by day...
babies can be veri veri adorable most of the time..
dose delicate fingers... dose nice smelling hair..
BUT!!
juz imagine taking 6 babies at one time...
feeding.. bathing... n eveything...
dats usual... but wen they start crying and shoutng deir lungs out!!
OMG!! GOD noes how i feel...
n werking for 13hrs is not a joke...
n at the end of the shift..
IM REALIE LETHARGIC...
people alwaes say its so easy to be a nurse...
wats more taking care of babies...
much much easier..
plz.. tink before u said dat again... cuz it irritates me alot!!
aside from babies...
people der also makes a huge diff...
if i happen 2 werk wif sumone nice..
i dun feel so irritated...
to make my story short..
you juz cnt stop people from talking...
HIPOCRITS ARE EVERYWER...
SO BEWARE!!...

now.. tell me..
wat should i do??
find a new bf?? not now...
find things to do to occupy my mind?? wat ting?? i get bored easily...
go out?? wer to??

PLZ TELL ME!!!

im lost!

i'm sooo alone..
i juz felt soo lost all the time..
wif no one to turn to weneva i nid sumone
wif no one to tok to wen im realie down...
i felt that my life wasnt at peace...
ders alwaes sumtings hurtful happen..
n all i hev to do...
iz kip it all to myself..

yeah.. frens are alwaes der,
fer me to share all my doubtful thots..
but the problem is..
they also hev deir own lives..
their own bf.. deir own families n other other stuffs..
wats more...
it would b veri irritating fer dem to listen to dese kind of problems..
over n over again...
definitely they'll get sick n tired...

if only he's still here...
he would alwaes be der fer me..
no matter how tired he is... no matter hw busy he is...
he would sacrifice his time listening to my endless sad life stories..
i realie mish dat moment of my life...

n ryte now..
even wen i cn turn to him...
i felt awkward...
to even msg him.. i realie had to tink twice...
like.. will he gets irritated?? will he ignore me??
haiz...
even after 2 mths of not being togeder...
i still mish him soo much...
even though now i dun tink bout him all the times....
but wen im all alone..
he's the onli person i eva tink of...

god.. u gev me huge huge obstacles in life...
ive tried to move on...
its hard...

all i eva nid...
was sumone to be my side... :,(

07/07/08

did i tell u???
i got my own PSP!!! YEAY!!
green colour...
dats the reason y i didnt blog fer the past few daes...
haha..
n tis psp also makes me veri slenge...
i was on my home after nite shift..
busy playing this psp la in the bus..
n ya... i missed my stop!!
not onli 1 or 2.. but 5 STOPS!!!
haha...

kla.. put that psp thing asidela...


yesterdae... 06/07/08..
NOOREEN GOT ENGAGED!!!
CANTIK!!!
tapi aku lagi cantik kn kn kn!!!
claded in this beautiful red baju...
she realie look stunning!!!
i wonder wen will it b my turn??!!!
i dunnoe..
i hev this dream..
i wana get married on 20/10/2010
nice kn...
2 more years...
BUT
i dun tink i cn get that sumone rite within dat short period of time...
n even ryte now..
he's still not out of my mind...
hw m i suppose to get sumone else in my life...
OR..maybe he's dat sumone?? haha dream on..
i dunnoe...
n i dun wana tink bout it...

promotion..

HEY!!! GUEZZ WAT??!!!
I GOT PROMOTED!!!
i got pay rise...
few hundred dollars!!
IM CONTENTED!!!
n my mid yr bonus was a BOMB!!!

EVERYTHING HAPPEN.. DO HEV REASONS BEHIND IT...
u noe i noe.. ryte aida??!! :)

time..

seems like it was onli yesterdae
i were in ur arms..
seems like it was a moment ago..
u said dat i meant so much in ur life...

everything seems so fresh..
dose daes wen we were so hepilie togeder..
doing stoopid tings on each other..
heving litlle2 arguments..
everything was so so fine...

dose daes wen u would sacrifice ur time...
juz to spend some time wif me..
juz to make me smile..
but wifout trying hard..
u ALWAYS made my dae..

n now..
even many2 pple tried to tell me..
he's not worth my tears..
he's juz plain stoopid to leave me..
he's too ego dat he dunnoe hw to appreciate me...
still i alwaes want him bek in my arms..
like we used to..


if onli i could turn bek time..

FRENS

A friend is one who believes in you when you have
ceased to believe in yourself.

ryte now.. frens r realie essential in my life...
i guezz.. if im a alone ryte now..
i'll definitely in depression..

feeling so down fer the past weeks...
LOST was the ideal werd fer me...
used to depend too much on him
n now.. wen he's gone...
i realie dunnoe wat m i suppose to do...

cuz wen im wif him..
spend almost all my time wif him..
we alwaes hev sumting to do
i wasnt close wif anyone else other den him..

but.. i realie wana thank all of dearest frens n collegues
fer alwaes been der fer me...
u guys r realie the switest darlings i had...

listening to my never ending irritating problems..
its alwaes been the same story...
but u guys nvr get bored listening..
Dese r the people i realie treasure so much..
not to forget my other frens.. like wan.. kak viki..
nad.. achiok.. thnx fer ur advice..
THANKIU SOO MUCH!!!:,(

Tertutup Sudah Pintu, Pintu Hatiku
Yang Pernah Dibuka Waktu Hanya Untukmu
Kini Kau Pergi Dari Hidupku
Kuharus Relakanmu Walau Aku Tak Mau


Berjuta Warna Pelangi Di Dalam Hati
Sejenak Luluh Bergeming Menjauh Pergi
Tak Ada Lagi Cahaya Suci
Semua Nada Beranjak Aku Terdiam Sepi

Dengarlah Matahariku, Suara Tangisanku
Kubersedih Karna Panah Cinta Menusuk Jantungku
Ucapkan Matahariku Puisi Tentang Hidupku
Tentangku Yang Tak Mampu Menaklukkan Waktu

i lurve this song so much!!! nice...:)

matahariku-agnes monica

SHIT!!! IM REALIE PISSED OFF!! I HATE U!! :,(

"ma.. eqa rindu syafikla"
"sudahla.. waste of time je pikir2 pasal dier..
bkn dier sorang jantan dlm dunia nie.. dier dh tinggalkn
kau... tkkn nk terhegeh2 lagi.. move on la"

dats wat she alwaes said wen i told her i mish him...
sumtymes it hurts...
but to tink again... its truela..
he's not the onli guy i noe...
n he left me..
y muz i kip holding myself bek??

but to tink again...
ive been in n out of love many many times..
n still i experience dis kind of hearbreaks..
wen will dis eva end??!!!
im tired... veri veri tired....

all i eva wanted...
was a heving a swit bf..
hu loved me so much...
n hu cn gif me their attention...
dats all..
izzit so hard???!!!
it seems like it is... haiz

btw.. ive started werk oredi...
n everyone had been asking bout my beautiful hand...
haha...
my hand still look disgustingla..
but better...
n the other ting dat sum of my collegues kip askin...
"hw u n syafik??"
haiz.. hw i wish i cld ans..
"ooo we're bek again togeder..."
but no...
HE'S GONE...





I dun mish him, I mish hu I thought he was...

TIME...

NOW.. ITS REALIE TIME...

bonus

IM A RICH GURL... NANANANANANANA.....

presence..

it definitely hurts 2 pursue a love which was nvr meant to b urs to begin wif.
i was too caught up wif dose fantasies till
i 4get to appreciate the love that was der for me all dis while.
it hurts so much 2 see him hepi loving another.
i were too busy looking into little2 mistakes he made
till he abandoned the love dat was ever ready waitin
4 me to make things happen.
to make us hepi.
i was too engrossed picking up his mistakes..
dat i dun realised he's realie trying his best to make me hepi...
til the dae he went away.. n close his doors on me...
ders a quote dat goes..
"u wun b able to appreciate the presence of dat sumone till he's gone"
nw dat i realise my mistakes.. its already too late..

dear if do cum across dis blog..
"i wana say thnkiu so much 4 teaching me lots n lots of tings bout relationship...
its not only about being sweet...
but to undastan each other needs was more impt...
i noe u sacrifice so much fer us...
u gev me many many chances to change...
but im juz so dumb to realise..
n im not mad at u 4 leaving..
cuz its part of my fault too 4 not undastandin u...
i still love u soo much... sobs sobs"

i tink its time dat i put it to a stop. accept disappointments.
i cant hev everything i wan.
i'l b hepi fo him.
im glad dat once in dis lifetime, he walked into my life.

ANIWAE!!
im bek to werk tomorow
aft on long mc..
for dose hu dunnoe...
i scalded my hand...
n now my hand look disgusting!!!
n how on earth guys would look at me... haha
hope it heals soon...
lots n lots of pple asked me...
"izzit painful??"
like duh!! imagine a whole lot of hot boiling oil on ur hand..
hw u feel uh??!!!!
but den.. i alwaes ans..
"my heart hurts much much more den my hand"
emo uh..




Forget who hurt you yesterday, But don't forget who loves you tenderly today...

memories

*in loving memories*
its almost 4 am in the morning...
n i juz came bek from miting my fwens...
its my first time aniwae..
thnk god my parents did undastan me..
dat i nid to loosen up myself n hev fun wif my fren..

but den.. even wen im outside wif frens..
he still linger in my mind..
but den.. i tried to b strong..
saying to myself..
"he dun love u animore eqa.. dun hev hopes plz.. he's not cuming bek"
it doesnt werk aniwae..

while i was bz chattin wif my fren..
i did look ard looking fer him
i dunnoe.. dats wat i usualie did wen im outside...
n wen we were abt to move off..
der it was...
the bike ive been riding on fer the past 5 mths was der...
it was him...
my heart beats realie2 fast..
maybe i juz mish him soo much...

so much of me wanting to move on...
dearest frens kips forcing me to move on..
but definitely its hard..
since we were already too comfortable togeder.. haiz..
i mish him...




You broke me, you broke my heart, you broke everything! You
turned my world upside down and inside out, BUT I know it was worth it for that one moment of love we had, it's a shame it went bad....

love..

hw do i heal a broken heart???
i hev no idea wer to start cuz everythin i do..
reminds me of him...
it is sad isnt it?? heving sumone u realie love but u juz cnt hev him in
ur arms...
much more devastating.. wen u used to hev dat sumone hu loves u
more den anything else in the world.. but now he hates u much much more...

like i said in my previous blog..
love is realie a huge cycle..
fill wif heartbrokens n happiness..
at one point u cn b hepi... another point u cn be sad...

n of course rite now im in the sad pointla..
dats y im starting to blog now..
i noe its been ages since i blog...
but wen im hepi... i got no time to blog..
cuz most of the time would b spent wif him...

but now.. its over..
it would b such a waste of time thinking bout him...
but still i think of him every single dae...
stoopid of me uh!!
den wat to do.. its realie hard to get over sumone
i realie gev my whole heart to...

"A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back, I Know Because I've Tried. Neither Would A Million Tears, I Know Because I've Cried"